Oh My Janey

My Desperate Appeal to Self-Doubt

I know what I love. I’ve always known what I love. I’m at the point where I’m asking myself what I want to do with my life, and I keep asking if writing is part of my big life plans. But I’m not even sure why I still ask myself that question when I’ve known for a long time that writing is the one for me. That sounds like a testimonial for a product. I don’t think I’d ever truly be happy if I’m not writing. Any form of writing will do.

I do know what I love, but why do I still feel lost?

I’m not sure when I truly started writing. There’s a bunch of old notebooks back from high school stashed in my cabinet but I know that I already loved writing when I was in grade school. I think my love for stories and writing developed at the same time. [Read more…]

Daddy’s Day

Dear Daddy,

You’re the person who I look like the most. I used to believe that I’m the female version of you. Growing up, I realized that we are pretty different from each another. We are often at the opposing ends of every argument but it really doesn’t matter. Similarities and differences–at the end of the day, they really don’t matter. You’re the still the best father to us. You spoil us to no end and show us unconditional love everyday.

Stay cute and kalog forever.

Happy Birthday and Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I know there’s a reason why your birthday falls on/near Father’s Day.

Love,

Jane

 

Birthday Thoughts

  • That’s me making a very grown-up pose. I don’t feel 21 at all!
  • I don’t like celebrating my birthday. I am actually grumpier than usual during my birthday week. I don’t understand it at all. I do know that I don’t like getting attention. I get incredibly shy when people greet me. I just like celebrating my birthday with the people I love, people really close to me. WHY AM I SO WEIRD?
  • It’s okay when people I’m not that close to greets me bet I get a little bitter. I don’t know why! Maybe it’s because I know that some people who are supposed to remember my birthday, don’t.  So I hid my birthday on Facebook but I’m not exactly sure if it still showed? IDK.?
  • Why do I sound so ungrateful?
  • Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate acquaintances greeting me, but I feel sad when really close friends don’t. HAHA. Also, I love you Facebook, but nothing beats receiving a text or a call from someone just to greet you a happy birthday. It makes my heart do little cartwheels. It just feels a lot better. More heartfelt, I think.
  • Expecting for the worst doesn’t make it any better when it actually happens. *shrugs*
  • But yesterday was still special! I was with my officemates, friends, Alex, and my family. That’s what matters, right? They made me feel special. They’re enough for me, really.
  • But it’s already June 3 and I’m already feeling like crap. I hope to feel better tomorrow, though.

The May Tradition

When I said that I started joining the Santacruzan since the summer I learned how to walk, I wasn’t joking. I learned to walk 2-km straight even before I learned how to drink milk from a glass. I cannot remember a summer from my childhood that I didn’t join the Santacruzan (a.k.a. Flores de Mayo a.k.a. Tapusan a.k.a. Sagala). There were times when I even joined the thing a couple of times during that same summer.

[Read more…]

Mommy’s Day

As I grow older, I realize how I am really like mother. I didn’t see it when I was a child. She hates how I “inherited” her social skills which basically means we both like keeping to ourselves and we don’t really like socializing that much. But I like how this similarity makes her understand me the way other people don’t. I don’t tell everything to my mother but it somehow becomes our bond. She understands the words I couldn’t even tell her. I love her more for it.

To the most beautiful woman in the world who loves me unconditionally. To the fiercest person I know who never lets anyone walk on her and the people she loves, Happy Mother’s Day Mommy! I may not be the sweetest and kindest daughter in the world but I do love you with all my heart. I love you!

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