Fourteen Somethings

Hello! I think this is the first time in years that I’ll be blogging this late in a month. So many things have happened since my last post and I’ve been busy with work and my Korean class that I barely have time for anything else. My laptop’s also acting weird for the past few weeks so spending time in front of my computer doesn’t come easy. Huhu. But I finally had some time last night to organize this post, yahoo.

My favorite blogger ever, Arriane the Wanderrgirl, proposes an idea of setting a theme for your year. Since I already have little goals listed, I only had to think of a “word” that encompasses everything I want to accomplish this year. And the first word that crossed my mind was INITIATE.

I think it’s a very fitting word for me, because I lack initiative. I’m lazy (and shy) as hell. There are so many things I want to accomplish but most of the time, I fail to move an inch. So this year, I want to take that first step, and keep on taking another step until I achieve what I want. And I really need to want it hard enough to motivate me.

I have 14 goals for this year, because it’s 2014. LOL. But really. It’s not a bucket list, because I think it’s too general to cross out each one. It sounds so many, but I always feel like there’s a ticking bomb I have to beat somehow. Also, I’m already 23, and I haven’t achieved something that I’m proud of. Sadly.

So here’s my over-the-top 2014 goals. I hope to achieve at least one. Dream high, butterfly. Heh.

Pretty much the cause of my quarter-life crisis last year, I just don’t know where I’m going in my life. Believe me, I understand how I can use my three years of experience in SEO to flourish in the field and maybe use it personally. But I’m always seeking for something more. I’m always wondering if I’ll ever get to be a ~writer~. Sometimes, I also miss teaching. I want to know and decide what I really want to be!

I can’t give up writing. I want to go back to teaching. And I don’t think I can ever escape SEO! So this year, I need to somehow find a way to make these three work together! It sounds impossible, but I’ll make it possible. I mean, you can’t be passionate about multiple of things and not find a way to practice all, right? So by the end of the year, I hope I’m no longer moping about my career. I’m sick of hearing myself be so whiny about things I can control.

I’ve been blogging since I was 13, and I’ve had this blog since 2010. I’ve always wanted my own domain, but again, I’m lazyyyy. However, things are about to change! Actually, this might be my last post here. One of my primary goals this year is to have my own domain and earn through blogging. I know how some people don’t need to work anywhere else since their earnings from their blog is enough to sustain them. Though I doubt that can easily happen to me, an extra income from doing something I love wouldn’t hurt.

At first, I only intend to do it with Asian Fixation, but I guess some things also need to change around here. I’m nervous with the move I’m about to take, but I’m also excited! Hopefully, I’ll have things fixed by February. I’m still confused about domain and web hosting (huhu so many technical terms i cannot!). It seems so complicated. But slowly and surely, I’ll understand.

If there’s one thing I’m sure of, I’ll be taking TOPIK this April! Pass or fail, I don’t care. I just want to take the exam.

I started to formally study Korean last year at Korean Cultural Center. Now, I’m already taking Elementary Korean 2, and it’s difficult. Memorization is my weakness. All the vocabulary I have to memorize scares me. I enjoy learning grammar, but vocabulary is another matter. This semester, we have to actively use at least 1,500 words. I’m not sure if it’s possible, but I’m not slacking off in studying. Well, I still don’t study as hard as I possibly should, but I take the time to do my homework and review past lessons.

I’m not sure why I’m so enthusiastic in going to my classes. From my 8-5 work, I attend a 6-8 class every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. It’s tiring. But it’s often the highlight of my day. I guess learning something new is the only thing that excites me these days. My mother often asks me why I’m taking Korean classes and if I intend to use it for something. I don’t know. I want to learn a new language, specifically Korean. That reason isn’t good enough for others, but it’s good enough for me.

Whoever said money doesn’t matter probably doesn’t like traveling.

I strive to be a budget traveler, but money is still an issue! I think wanting to visit so many places is a good motivator on wanting a steadier and bigger income. Heh. But seriously, there are just so many places I want to visit. Traveling at least a month is important, so my goal right now isn’t the number of places I’ll visit. Because who has the funds for that?

I have Baguio on February, Korea on November, Boracay on July, and hopefully, Cambodia-Vietnam on September! Keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to fund all my travels.

This one deserves its own entry. I know I already mentioned that I want to write, write, write. And I do that everyday. I do it a lot, actually. But I want to give creative writing another try.

I started a novel last November, and I wish to finish it somehow. I intended to write at least one short story every week, but I think I should stop setting numbers on how many things I need to write. I know that to accomplish something, I need to make the time for it. I can’t just want to write. I have to write. Essays, too! I want to write essays. I have so many ideas, and I just have to sit down and write.

2013 was the year I went broke. I’m still feeling the brunt of it, but slowly, I’ll emerge victorious in this dry spell. Haha. The problem is not spending too much, because I basically have very little to spend. And with all the travels I’m planning, having savings is next to impossible! Really, the past few years, traveling is my only luxury.

It’s only January, and I have 11 more months to at least have some savings. It’s the emergency expenses that swallow me whole and make me cry. So basically, my goal is to still have some money to save despite emergencies. It’ll be difficult, but it’s necessary.

I haven’t been taking that much photos lately, thanks to my camera that’s sometimes failing me. But it’s not the camera but the photographer that’s in-charge of taking good photos. I should stop making excuses and start taking more photos.

If possible, I’d love to get my photos published, no matter how amateur they seem. Vibal’s Student’s Digest gave me my first opportunity, and I believe in creating more windows of opportunities for myself. This is also one of the reason why I’m so keen on having my own domain. I kind of want to put up a portfolio of sorts. Right now, it’ll be pretty lacking of good content, that’s why I should take more and better photos, right?

People find it hard to believe that I have a pretty low self-esteem. I chalk  it up by being boisterous and delivering self-derogatory jokes. Sometimes I see a put-together teen, and wonder what happened to me and why I don’t look as good. So this year, I want to feel pretty, and I’ll start with making myself look pretty. No, I’m not getting a nose job ahaha.

I’ll just comb my hair more often, put more thought into what I’m wearing, find a beauty regimen that works for me, and learn a bit about makeup! I hope this won’t cost me too much. Heh.

I firmly believe that I am blessed with much more than I deserve. And taking words from the wise, it’s only apt that I give back.

But what do I do when I have nothing more to give? That’s why I want to volunteer. I’ve already mentioned my desire to go back to teaching. Though it doesn’t seem to be a viable career path, there are so many organizations looking for volunteers. I hope to be a part of something a lot bigger than myself. Though my desire of volunteering seems from something selfish, it’s still a lot better than doing nothing. And I’ve been doing nothing for quite a long time now.

Another good motivator for me to seek for a steadier income is this one. I want to sponsor a child through World Vision for the longest time, but I can’t somehow fit it in my budget. I can, but that leaves no room for savings.

This year, I want to be more stable and I want to earn more. A mentor I had in college said that there’s nothing wrong with not involving one’s self in a societal development career, something a DevCom graduate like me should consider. After all, there are so many ways to help, and earning a lot and giving to charity is one of them. Working in a NGO or in a government agency isn’t the only way to be useful.

I really, really hope this is the year that I’ll make it happen. I included it in my 2012 list, but failed to do so. I kind of wished I already started back when money isn’t this big an issue.

Every year, I plan to read 52 books. So far, I only achieved it on 2011! I hope that I do it again this time, because last year I only read 22 books. There are so many books to read, and it pains me that I haven’t read all of them. So far, I’ve already read 4 books. I got some extra reading time during the first week of January so I’m a bit ahead. I will try not to slack off despite my work, writing/blogging, and Korean class. I’d love to read more classics, Filipino lit, comics, and mystery novels!

I hope to get in a few minutes of reading everyday. I’m pretty sure it won’t go far, but it’s better than not reading at all.

Actually, Learn More is a candidate as the Theme of the Year. I just feel like there are so many things I have to learn, and not just in terms of going-back-to-school learning. But nothing makes it more obvious than my desire to go to graduate school or attend TESDA classes.

Again, it’s the finances that hinder all these plans. My parents are willing to support me if ever I’d go back to school. But after years of being self-supporting, it just doesn’t seem right to depend on them again for my studies. Besides, there are other ways I can do learn. For example, I can always apply for a scholarship, and there are so many open courses online. Last week, I enrolled in Principles of Written English, Part 2 at edX. I know that my English needs a lot of improvement, and if I want to make a career out of writing, I need to do something about that.

I have long accepted the fact that I won’t ever be a vegetarian. I love pork and fried and salty food way too much to eat healthy. (Also: Cheetos.) Instead, I’ll resort to leading a healthier lifestyle. Right now, I can’t possibly jog during the week but I hope I can do so on some days. I’ve been climbing the stairs in my office, too, as long as I don’t have a class that day and I’m not late. Heh.

I can’t afford a gym membership to motivate myself to work out, but I promise to be more physically fit. Once I finish my Elem 2 classes in April, I’ll have more time for this. I’m way too weak to function sometimes.I can imagine my boyfriend nodding his head in approval. Yes, I am quick to anger. Yes, I have stupid bouts of tantrum from time to time. Yes, I have an uncontrollable mouth that’s prone to speaking some rather nasty things at times. I try to keep it under control, but I usually can’t help it.

Gone are the days when I can be described as mabait. Not that it’s entirely a bad thing. I have learned to speak up for myself and I don’t hesitate to point out things that I believe should be fixed. But sometimes it’s too much. I’m too much. People will wrong me, and I don’t have to feel so victimized about it all the time. Thus, I wish to have longer patience. I hope I can control my emotions and temper. So dear friends, please hold me back when I’m ready to fire off my complaints and criticisms. Thank you very much.

–

That’s a pretty long list! I have a feeling that I won’t be having that much sleep this year, but it’s fine. Life is too short anyway to spend majority of my time sleeping. This may sound like a pretty self-centered post, but I don’t really mind. I mean, I have way too many issues and I need to resolve them quick and fast before I get left behind.

I have great hopes and wishes for 2014, and one of them is that hopefully I won’t be too lazy to accomplish my plans. I am a dreamer, but I don’t want to be just a dreamer. This year I will initiate change. So wish me luck, guys!